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<\/p>\n\u201cMy heart might be bruised, but it will recover and become capable of seeing the beauty of life once more. It\u2019s happened before, it will happen again, I\u2019m sure.\u201d ~ Paulo Coelho<\/p>\n
With several weeks of shelter-in-place orders and juggling the stress of numerous responsibilities. It\u2019s normal to feel off-balance, unsettled and unstable right now with the stresses of dealing with confinement; managing distance-learning; caring for children and\/or older parents; getting bombarded by news updates on the spread and fatalities of the virus; and hearing about family, friends, and colleagues who have been affected by Corona Virus. Even the most stable leaders have had the figurative wind knocked out of them by COVID19.<\/p>\n
This is a time in our lives that we\u2019ve never experienced before. No one knows what will happen next and the only constant we are all experiencing is change. How do you remain steady, sane and grounded when the world seems to be collapsing around us? How do you find true north when it feels like we are all living in the upside down? We\u2019re all feeling stressed, anxious, out-of-control and we all have fears about how life is going to be once this crisis passes. To prepare for brighter days, it\u2019s important to take care of ourselves in the here and now.<\/p>\n
Everything I am about to show you in the next 45 minutes are science-backed, beta tested by me personally and field-tested on my clients. They are practical, easy to implement and most of them are free.<\/p>\n
I like to begin my presentations by ensuring that we are all operating from the same vocabulary. Let\u2019s take a look at the word grounded and it\u2019s definition<\/p>\n
Comes from the Germanic and has the association with the earth – fix firmly and stably as in your feet on the ground. Another context comes from electrical engineers. When electricians ground circuits for safety so we don\u2019t get electrocuted. That action literally re-routes the electricity back to the earth in order to keep the human body safe.<\/p>\n
You could also think of it in a safety context for example, a plane can be grounded for mechanical or weather issues or you could ground your child in order to protect them from getting into unsafe situations. All these definitions have the same common thread, stability and safety\u2026qualities that are constantly being assaulted in our world right now.<\/p>\n
We must begin by feeling our feelings and embrace the pain we are experiencing. We are certainly living in weird times. We don\u2019t know what to think or how to feel. We might fear getting sick, or worry about our family and friends. Many of us fear the loss of income and wonder how we\u2019ll pay our bills. In our social isolation, left alone with our thoughts and emotions as company, we might become lonely and feel lost.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s important to notice how we\u2019re feeling, name it and know that it will pass rather than avoiding it or ignoring it. Running away from pain only gives it more power to grow, so that it becomes much larger and scarier when it catches up with us (which it always does) and causes even more suffering.<\/p>\n
In her book, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha, therapist and meditation teacher, Tara Brach, describes the practice of Radical Acceptance as making \u201courselves available to whatever life is offering us in each moment.\u201d<\/p>\n
Make time to be still, to slow down your thinking, judging, and worrying. When we do this, we can actually heal our pain and have the compassion to help to ease the suffering of our friends and neighbors, giving our own life more meaning. Wrote Eckhart Tolle, \u201cWhenever you deeply accept this moment as it is \u2014 no matter what form it takes \u2014 you are still, you are at peace.\u201d And, when accepting this moment, rather than numbing it, \u201cYou become aligned with the power and intelligence of Life itself. Only then can you become an agent for positive change in the world.\u201d<\/p>\n
Whatever it is that you\u2019re feeling, know that there are many of us likely feeling the same way. Right now, we are all in this together. There\u2019s a strange sense of comfort in that. We might be socially isolated, but we\u2019re not alone with our experience. How can you steady yourself internally when the external world is constantly knocking you off-balance? We start by using grounding techniques.<\/p>\n
Grounding is a practice that can help you pull away from flashbacks, unwanted memories, and negative or challenging emotions. These techniques may help distract you from what you\u2019re experiencing and refocus on what\u2019s happening in the present moment.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
You can use grounding techniques to help create space from distressing feelings in nearly any situation, but they\u2019re especially helpful if you\u2019re dealing with:<\/p>\n
Our brains learn in contrast, let\u2019s experience what it\u2019s like to feel ungrounded. Here are some symptoms:<\/p>\n
Physical signs of being ungrounded include:<\/p>\n
Being ungrounded is a worldwide epidemic and so deeply infused in our DNA that few of us even recognize the\u00a0problem. Being ungrounded is the root cause of a great deal of human suffering.<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s start with a grounding exercise \u2013 I invite you to close your eyes. Take three deep breaths and engage the theater of your mind.<\/p>\n
You\u2019re walking barefoot on the beach.<\/p>\n
Feel the warmth of the sun on your skin. Listen to the rhythm of the crashing waves.<\/p>\n
Smell the ocean wind as it\u00a0brushes by you. Taste the salt on your lips and feel the gentle ocean breeze caressing your body. Now, notice your feet. Do you feel a tingly sensation in your feet or legs as a warmth rises up your body? Tell me what you discovered about yourself during this exercise. Write your comments in the box below.<\/p>\n
Perhaps you\u2019ve noticed a similar feeling while walking barefoot on the grass.\u00a0In those moments, you are grounded. It\u2019s one reason many people are drawn to the ocean.<\/p>\n
Being grounded can mean two things:<\/p>\n
We\u2019ve all experienced being grounded. We feel \u201cat home\u201d. This can be a fleeting experience unless we consistently practice grounding techniques to help us get and stay rooted in our bodies.<\/p>\n
Grounding techniques will:<\/p>\n
Grounding yourself, simply put is a form of mindfulness and meditation. Meditation is a\u00a0mind and body practice\u00a0that has a long history of use for increasing calmness and physical relaxation, improving psychological balance, coping with illness, and enhancing overall health and well-being. Mind and body practices focus on the interactions among the brain, mind, body, and behavior.<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s take a look at the research from the National Institute of health about the effects meditation has on our brain. Research suggests that meditation may physically change the brain and body and could potentially help to improve many health problems and promote healthy behaviors.<\/p>\n
Imagine yourself leaving the painful feelings behind<\/strong><\/p>\n Picture yourself:<\/p>\n Together let\u2019s break things down to a mind, body, heart, emotion, and spiritual practices of grounding ourselves.<\/p>\n These techniques use your five senses or tangible objects \u2014 things you can touch \u2014 to help you move through distress.<\/p>\n Focus on the water\u2019s temperature and how it feels on your fingertips, palms, and the backs of your hands. Does it feel the same in each part of your hand? Are the things you touch soft or hard? Heavy or light? Warm or cool? Focus on the texture and color of each item. Challenge yourself to think of specific colors, such as crimson, burgundy, indigo, or turquoise, instead of simply red or blue.<\/p>\n Slowly inhale, then exhale. If it helps, you can say or think \u201cin\u201d and \u201cout\u201d with each breath. Feel each breath filling your lungs and note how it feels to push it back out.<\/p>\n Take small bites or sips of a food or beverage you enjoy, letting yourself fully taste each bite. Think about how it tastes and smells and the flavors that linger on your tongue.<\/p>\n Concentrate on your steps \u2014 you can even count them. Notice the rhythm of your footsteps and how it feels to put your foot on the ground and then lift it again.<\/p>\n What does it feel like at first? How long does it take to start melting? How does the sensation change when the ice begins to melt?<\/p>\n Is there a fragrance that appeals to you? This might be a cup of tea, an herb or spice, a favorite soap, or a scented candle. Inhale the fragrance slowly and deeply and try to note its qualities (sweet, spicy, sharp, citrusy, and so on).<\/p>\n Do a few exercises or stretches. You could try jumping jacks, jumping up and down, jumping rope, jogging in place, or stretching different muscle groups one by one. Take a few moments to listen to the noises around you. Do you hear birds? Dogs barking? Machinery or traffic? If you hear people talking, what are they saying? Do you recognize the language? Let the sounds wash over you and remind you where you are.<\/p>\n You can do this sitting or standing. Focus on how your body feels from head to toe, noticing each part. Can you feel your hair on your shoulders or forehead? Glasses on your ears or nose? The weight of your shirt on your shoulders? Do your arms feel loose or stiff at your sides? Can you feel your heartbeat? Is it rapid or steady? Does your stomach feel full, or are you hungry? Are your legs crossed, or are your feet resting on the floor? Is your back straight?<\/p>\n Curl your fingers and wiggle your toes. Are you barefoot or in shoes? How does the floor feel against your feet?<\/p>\n Working backward from 5, use your senses to list things you notice around you. For example, you might start by listing five things you hear, then four things you see, then three things you can touch from where you\u2019re sitting, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.<\/p>\n Make an effort to notice the little things you might not always pay attention to, such as the color of the flecks in the carpet or the hum of your computer.<\/p>\n These grounding exercises use mental distractions to help redirect your thoughts away from distressing feelings and back to the present.<\/p>\n Look at a detailed photograph or picture (like a cityscape or other \u201cbusy\u201d scene) for 5 to 10 seconds. Then, turn the photograph face-down and recreate the photograph in your mind, in as much detail as possible. Or, you can mentally list all the things you remember from the picture.<\/p>\n Choose one or two broad categories, such as \u201cmusical instruments,\u201d \u201cice cream flavors,\u201d \u201cmammals,\u201d or \u201cbaseball teams.\u201d Take a minute or two to mentally list as many things from each category as you can.<\/p>\n Even if you aren\u2019t a math person, numbers can help center you. Think of a poem, song, or book passage you know by heart. Recite it quietly to yourself or in your head. If you say the words aloud, focus on the shape of each word on your lips and in your mouth. If you say the words in your head, visualize each word as you\u2019d see it on a page.<\/p>\n Make up a silly joke \u2014 the kind you\u2019d find on a candy wrapper or popsicle stick. This might be something like, \u201cI\u2019m Full Name. I\u2019m X years old. I live in City, State. Today is Friday, June 3. It\u2019s 10:04 in the morning. I\u2019m sitting at my desk at work. There\u2019s no one else in the room.\u201d You can expand on the phrase by adding details until you feel calm, such as, \u201cIt\u2019s raining lightly, but I can still see the sun. It\u2019s my break time. I\u2019m thirsty, so I\u2019m going to make a cup of tea.\u201d<\/p>\n If you like doing laundry, for example, think about how you\u2019d put away a finished load. Think of an activity you do often or can do very well, such as making coffee, locking up your office, or tuning a guitar. Go through the process step-by-step, as if you\u2019re giving someone else instructions on how to do it.<\/p>\n Spend a few minutes taking in your surroundings and noting what you see. Use all five senses to provide as much detail as possible. \u201cThis bench is red, but the bench over there is green. It\u2019s warm under my jeans since I\u2019m sitting in the sun. It feels rough, but there aren\u2019t any splinters. The grass is yellow and dry. The air smells like smoke. I hear kids having fun and two dogs barking.\u201d<\/p>\n You can use these techniques to comfort yourself in times of emotional distress. These exercises can help promote good feelings that may help the negative feelings fade or seem less overwhelming.<\/p>\n If you feel upset or distressed, visualize someone positive in your life. Imagine their face or think of what their voice sounds like. Imagine them telling you that the moment is tough, but that you\u2019ll get through it.<\/p>\n Repeat kind, compassionate phrases to yourself: If you\u2019re at home and have a pet, spend a few moments just sitting with them. If they\u2019re of the furry variety, pet them, focusing on how their fur feels. Focus on their markings or unique characteristics. If you have a smaller pet you can hold, concentrate on how they feel in your hand. Not at home? Think of your favorite things about your pet or how they would comfort you if they were there.<\/p>\n List three favorite things in several different categories, such as foods, trees, songs, movies, books, places, and so on.<\/p>\n Think of your favorite place, whether it\u2019s the home of a loved one or a foreign country. Use all of your senses to create a mental image. Think of the colors you see, sounds you hear, and sensations you feel on your skin. Remember the last time you were there. Who were you with, if anyone? What did you do there? How did you feel?<\/p>\n This might be something you do alone or with a friend or loved one. Think of what you\u2019ll do and when. Maybe you\u2019ll go to dinner, take a walk on the beach, see a movie you\u2019ve been looking forward to, or visit a museum. This could be your favorite blanket, a much-loved T-shirt, a smooth stone, a soft carpet, or anything that feels good to touch. Think about how it feels under your fingers or in your hand.<\/p>\n If you have a favorite sweater, scarf, or pair of socks, put them on and spend a moment thinking about the sensation of the fabric on your skin.<\/p>\n Write or mentally list four or five things in your life that bring you joy, visualizing each of them briefly.<\/p>\n Put on your favorite song, but pretend you\u2019re listening to it for the first time. Focus on the melody and lyrics (if there are any). Does the song give you chills or create any other physical sensations? Pay attention to the parts that stand out most to you.<\/p>\n Grounding yourself isn\u2019t always easy. It may take some time before the techniques work well for you, but don\u2019t give up on them.<\/p>\n Here are some additional tips to help you get the most out of these techniques:<\/p>\n Grounding techniques can be powerful tools to help you cope with distressing thoughts in the moment. But the relief they provide is generally temporary.<\/p>\n It\u2019s important to get help from a psychiatrist, therapist or coach so you can address what\u2019s causing your distress.<\/p>\n Let me leave you with this Eckart Tolle Quote \u2013<\/p>\n “Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.”<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" With several weeks of shelter-in-place orders and juggling the stress of numerous responsibilities. 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<\/strong><\/p>\n\n
Physical techniques<\/h2>\n
1. Put your hands in<\/strong> water<\/h3>\n
\nUse warm water first, then cold. Next, try cold water first, then warm. Does it feel different to switch from cold to warm water versus warm to cold?<\/p>\n2. Pick up or<\/strong> touch items near you<\/strong><\/h3>\n
3. Breathe<\/strong> deeply<\/h3>\n
4. Savor a food or drink<\/h3>\n
5. Take a short walk<\/h3>\n
6. Hold a piece of ice<\/h3>\n
7. Savor a scent<\/h3>\n
8. Move your body<\/h3>\n
\nPay attention to how your body feels with each movement and when your hands or feet touch the floor or move through the air. How does the floor feel against your feet and hands? If you jump rope, listen to the sound of the rope in the air and when it hits the ground.<\/p>\n9. Listen to your surroundings<\/h3>\n
10. Feel your body<\/h3>\n
11. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 method<\/h3>\n
12. Play a memory game<\/h3>\n
13. Think in categories<\/h3>\n
14. Use math and numbers<\/h3>\n
\nTry:<\/p>\n\n
15. Recite something<\/h3>\n
16. Make yourself laugh<\/h3>\n
\nYou might also make yourself laugh by watching your favorite funny animal video, a clip from a comedian or TV show you enjoy, or anything else you know will make you laugh.<\/p>\n17. Use an anchoring phrase<\/h3>\n
18. Visualize a daily task you enjoy or don\u2019t mind doing<\/h3>\n
\n\u201cThe clothes feel warm coming out of the dryer. They\u2019re soft and a little stiff at the same time. They feel light in the basket, even though they spill over the top. I\u2019m spreading them out over the bed so they won\u2019t wrinkle. I\u2019m folding the towels first, shaking them out before folding them into halves, then thirds,\u201d and so on.<\/p>\n19. Describe a common task<\/h3>\n
20. Describe what\u2019s around you<\/h3>\n
Soothing techniques<\/h2>\n
21. Picture the voice or face of someone you love<\/h3>\n
22. Practice self-kindness<\/h3>\n
\n\u201cYou\u2019re having a rough time, but you\u2019ll make it through.\u201d
\n\u201cYou\u2019re strong, and you can move through this pain.\u201d
\n\u201cYou\u2019re trying hard, and you\u2019re doing your best.\u201d
\nSay it, either aloud or in your head, as many times as you need.<\/p>\n23. Sit with your pet<\/h3>\n
24. List favorites<\/h3>\n
25. Visualize your favorite place<\/h3>\n
26. Plan an activity<\/h3>\n
\nFocus on the details, such as what you\u2019ll wear, when you\u2019ll go, and how you\u2019ll get there.<\/p>\n27. Touch something comforting<\/h3>\n
28. List positive things<\/h3>\n
29. Listen to music<\/h3>\n
Additional tips<\/h2>\n
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